The Joys of a Monday-Sunday [and other things]

There are so many. You get a short week, an extra day of weekend, and in my case a lovely day in the park with beautiful Kira. I've still been incredibly on edge about a potential life change (which I've just started referring to as THE DECISION as if its something of global importance) and the fresh air and the view of the Delacorte from Belvedere was exactly what I needed. Looking down into the theater reminds me why I care so much. This is love. [See figure 1]

I'm trying to feel peace now in my wonderful apartment with regal Ophelia. I've been practicing a lot of mindfulness lately, which is in fact utilized in Buddhism. The principle is that one can isolate thoughts and feelings for a moment and regain perspective. Another large part of mindfulness is being grateful for what you have in life.

[Gratitude Journal - Entry #1]

1. Central Park
2. Votivo Sea-Island Grapefruit scented candle
3. My record player

I am grateful for rediscovering LOVE. As in, a love that is yours that will never disappear. This happened when I was 21 and began working for the Public. I didn't feel alone anymore, but that's why I'm so freaked now. What if this love wasn't unconditional but just a phase that ends if I don't get my shot there? Right now I'm forked between New York and Dallas. If this comes through I will stay in New York because I will have a strong enough reason to. If I don't then I'm going to get my teaching certificate at SMU. This waiting period is nearly intolerable.

Where am I going? What's going to happen when I get there? Having two loves of your life is half awesome/half succubus. Until I have an answer I feel unsteady and inconclusive about even little decisions. I'm isolating and pushing everyone away. I divide time as moments before and after the decision. I'm not hungry, I have trouble sleeping.

Enough of this. There are also other events cooking. My friends and I are trying to organize a charity concert for Haiti. I've already registered with the Red Cross and they are waiting to draw up a contract with me so that I can legally use their name/etc. I've been having a hard time getting venues to take me seriously but I think that with an increasingly impressive set of performers I will be able to woo someone into providing me with an establishment. I think that it is incredible that the US has raised over $5m via texting "Haiti to 90999" aka red cross international. I want to do something local and I am lucky enough to have a bevy of incredibly talented friends who can draw a crowd. This is important. Right now I am in talks with Joe's Pub, Rockwood Music Hall, and Cake Shop. I wish more young people could get their shit together and mobilize in a way that constituted change. AKA not just updating your twitter and facebook status. Technology has made us all lazy. So here's an open call: if you're reading this, know a venue, have a band, or are interested in helping out leave a comment. Let's do something for the greater good.

[Figure 1] Delacorte Theater, Central Park