Really hot. Like, 95 + with humidity. My soul melted on the sidewalk this morning. Not to mention the fact that I got to the subway just as the N train came pulling in and then instead of letting me in so I could catch that train everyone just barreled out, leaving me on the hellish platform. In my morning anger I actually thanked a guy for his obnoxious behavior as the train pulled away. He smiled. I didn't.
Amidst the August oppression is the onset of The Bacchae at the Delacorte. Last night was the invited dress rehearsal and the overall reaction was... tepid. I'm seeing it tomorrow so I'll be sure to let you all know.
Lastly, a blog post from Carolyn has got me wondering about the tribe and our (possibly) irrational devotion to one another. The original blogpost, below:
Shiksa's are for practice?
Tonight I played board games with some friends and randoms from high school. It was really fun until one individual said a few things that pissed me off and made me question some larger life questions.
Basically it went like this: we all had to go around and list a reason not to date someone. Religion came up and soon someone at the table said, "they're not Jewish." They decided to elaborate and clarified that "Shiksa's are for practice". I simply replied, "shut the fuck up," in my cool and collect way. I didn't push the issue, but later I found myself furious. I've only dated a handful of times, yet each was with a fairly religious Jewish boy.
At some point I even tried to call my ex, curious as to his past, current, and future views about his significant other's religion. Alas, the call went straight to voicemail. So for now I'll sit here, waiting until the sun comes up, forever pondering the actual significance of religion in relationships. Maybe "my little shiksa" wasn't as endearing as my charmed 16 year old self once thought it was. In the next relationship it was, "my parent's are religious, not me. Fuck that." (meaning a Jewish girl). But something tells me I might be wrong.
Basically it went like this: we all had to go around and list a reason not to date someone. Religion came up and soon someone at the table said, "they're not Jewish." They decided to elaborate and clarified that "Shiksa's are for practice". I simply replied, "shut the fuck up," in my cool and collect way. I didn't push the issue, but later I found myself furious. I've only dated a handful of times, yet each was with a fairly religious Jewish boy.
At some point I even tried to call my ex, curious as to his past, current, and future views about his significant other's religion. Alas, the call went straight to voicemail. So for now I'll sit here, waiting until the sun comes up, forever pondering the actual significance of religion in relationships. Maybe "my little shiksa" wasn't as endearing as my charmed 16 year old self once thought it was. In the next relationship it was, "my parent's are religious, not me. Fuck that." (meaning a Jewish girl). But something tells me I might be wrong.
Ok, this entry from her comes after an unrelated, but interesting statement from Dan last night. He said that when he was on the Marwood cruise he took pains to drop to two upper level people that are Jewish that he also is part of "the tribe".
So, what is it with us? What's the deal? I personally don't find the religion of my significant other important at all - but most other people do. There seems to be some kind of cultural camaraderie between Jews, even when an individual is neither practicing nor "culturally" Jewish. There is the insufferable stereotype of "the nice Jewish boy" that Jewish girls have been fed since the beginning of time. When I had my first boyfriend at 14 the first question that my grandmother asked was if he was Jewish. He wasn't. In fact I have never had any sort of serious relationship with someone who was Jewish. I don't even know that I would identify myself as such, but that hasn't stopped me from joining JDate. To prove loyalty to "the tribe"Jdate has included somewhat waning Jews with the Jew-level option of "Culturally Jewish but not practicing". This is what I have checked.
Does this mean that Jews aren't as concerned with preserving a religion as they are about "keeping it in the family" - a notoriously cult-like statement - or that people are (as I have argued since my first sociology of religion class) simply looking for a community amongst strangers? And if the only initial thing that people have in common is that they both memorized the same prayers in Sunday School, then why do Jews/Jews, Catholics/Catholics, Baptists/Baptists, etc/etc seem to find such comfort in one another when, individually, he or she may not even associate with a religion, but instead ascertain that its "just how they grew up."
I present this to you, readers. What do you think? Are Shiksa's merely practice for nice Jewish boys? Are Jewish girls meant to nab the Jewish boys before the evil Shiksa's steal them away? Are we really happier with someone that shared ONE similar aspect of our lives growing up? And what is this fierce loyalty to a tradition, even when people do not regularly practice it? I know many Jewish girls that don't believe in God, but do believe in the power of Jewish men. Most people know that temple atriums can be expanded to accommodate the large crowds around the high holidays, and then are set up with sliding walls or large screens to block off empty space for the rest of the year. So I repeat: what's the deal? What do you all think about this?
So, what is it with us? What's the deal? I personally don't find the religion of my significant other important at all - but most other people do. There seems to be some kind of cultural camaraderie between Jews, even when an individual is neither practicing nor "culturally" Jewish. There is the insufferable stereotype of "the nice Jewish boy" that Jewish girls have been fed since the beginning of time. When I had my first boyfriend at 14 the first question that my grandmother asked was if he was Jewish. He wasn't. In fact I have never had any sort of serious relationship with someone who was Jewish. I don't even know that I would identify myself as such, but that hasn't stopped me from joining JDate. To prove loyalty to "the tribe"Jdate has included somewhat waning Jews with the Jew-level option of "Culturally Jewish but not practicing". This is what I have checked.
Does this mean that Jews aren't as concerned with preserving a religion as they are about "keeping it in the family" - a notoriously cult-like statement - or that people are (as I have argued since my first sociology of religion class) simply looking for a community amongst strangers? And if the only initial thing that people have in common is that they both memorized the same prayers in Sunday School, then why do Jews/Jews, Catholics/Catholics, Baptists/Baptists, etc/etc seem to find such comfort in one another when, individually, he or she may not even associate with a religion, but instead ascertain that its "just how they grew up."
I present this to you, readers. What do you think? Are Shiksa's merely practice for nice Jewish boys? Are Jewish girls meant to nab the Jewish boys before the evil Shiksa's steal them away? Are we really happier with someone that shared ONE similar aspect of our lives growing up? And what is this fierce loyalty to a tradition, even when people do not regularly practice it? I know many Jewish girls that don't believe in God, but do believe in the power of Jewish men. Most people know that temple atriums can be expanded to accommodate the large crowds around the high holidays, and then are set up with sliding walls or large screens to block off empty space for the rest of the year. So I repeat: what's the deal? What do you all think about this?
1 comments:
I appreciate you turning my post into a larger discussion and I'm really curious to see where it will go. It's so hard for me to understand the connection, but I'm not short of blaming my non-religious background. Also, I did finally speak with my ex. He told me something that he kept from me while we were dating... after we had been dating for 5 or so years his cousin approached him and explained that although I was great, he just wanted my ex to know that he could never "end up" with me because I wasn't Jewish. Five years in. Ouch.
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